Won't Make It To The Shore
by cl4rcster
Summary: Natalia, a nurse working in London, encounters the daughter of one of the patients in her care. Whilst they don't get off on the right foot exactly, it seems that Mei Wang has taken an interest in becoming her friend, nonetheless. BelaTai written for #aphrpw. Content warnings inside.


_import from ao3. smutless so i don't see why it can't be uploaded here. just a fair warning there's some implied/referenced terrorism, character death, and the use of needles in a medical context right off the bat._

_i'd never written these characters before this and i probably won't write them again any time soon._

_unofficial human names used, for clarification:  
__vermeulen - belgium  
__dhruv singh - india_

* * *

Natalia was never sure exactly how or why she became a nurse. Compassion was not her forte.

(But the way her brother and sister had beamed with pride when she'd passed her course, she was sure it was worth it for that memory alone).

"Hold still." She hisses, for what may be the fifth or sixth time. Her brow is creased and her own hand, in spite of her words, is becoming more and more unsteady.

"I am still!" Mr. Wang barks at her in exasperation, before muttering under his breath, "Insolent woman..."

She presses in the needle without much more warning. Mr. Wang yelps.

Natalia is sure of one thing, and that is that if people knew how much pleasure she got from moments like that, they'd think her mad.

–

"You can have Tuesday morning off if you work overtime tonight. Is that alright?"

Begrudgingly, Natalia accepts. It's the best compromise Dr. Kirkland claims he can come up with at such short notice.

She doesn't pity whoever will have to cover her shift. The grouchy old Chinese man won't be discharged until next Friday at the earliest.

–

There's a young woman dressed in a delicate pink sun dress, seated at Mr. Wang's bedside, when Natalia returns to his room. She crinkles her nose slightly at the discovery. She's probably a relative of his, but that's irrelevant when it's already past visiting hours.

"Who let you in here?" She asks cooly, the moment the dark-haired girl glances towards her.

She stifles as well. "Nurse Vermeulen did. Is there a problem?"

Vermeulen. Sticking her nose into matter regarding patients that weren't hers. Natalia grits her teeth instinctively. "Visiting hours are over."

The girl frowns, and sticks her bottom lip out. "But I just got here, and she said-"

Natalia interjects, "Leave."

Mr. Wang looks as if he's already coming down with a headache. He huffs and turns towards the girl. "It's fine, Meimei. Go home."

Her shoes click against the vinyl floor as she gets up, walks around the bed, and makes to leave in silence. Cheeks puffed out, she doesn't bid farewell to the old man, let alone make eye contact with Natalia.

–

"She told me she was running late after work." Nurse Vermeulen mumbles as she sits behind the desk monitoring the ward, filing her nails. She peers up at Natalia with a certain curiosity, as if something's crossed her mind all of a sudden. "I didn't think it would be a problem. There wasn't anything suspicious about her."

"He doesn't have any children." Natalia states, tapping the clipboard holding Mr. Wang's details.

Vermeulen pauses between scrapes of her middle nail. Her look of questioning fades; her expression hardens. "Perhaps she isn't his daughter."

It isn't security Natalia cares about, it's relatives getting in the way when she's trying to deal with difficult patients like the old geezer. Whoever the girl happened to be, if she turned up again outside of visiting hours, Vermeulen was going to be the one responsible for it. If Natalia was going to be labelled 'heartless' at all as a result, so be it.

–

Mr. Wang is on the phone when Natalia checks in a couple of hours later. It's close to nine in the morning, and the end of her shift. She sets a few painkillers and a glass of water on the bedside table and leaves him be, stepping across the room to open the curtains.

He's silent when he hangs up, popping the pills into his mouth and swigging them down with water. It's not until Natalia's about to leave that he speaks to her.

"My sister is coming to visit today instead." It almost sounds like he's asking her if she has a problem with it.

At once, Natalia thinks of her own brother. It leaves her disgruntled.

–

Monday's shift happens to coincide with visiting hours.

It's the next time Natalia comes face-to-face with the younger Wang sibling. This time her hair is pinned back and she's wearing an oversized sweater. It's not as nice as the dress, but Natalia still can't help but feel a little inadequate in her nurse's scrubs and messy bun.

"Aren't you Yao's nurse?" She asks, stopping suddenly on her way to the entrance.

Natalia raises an eyebrow and takes a drag of her cigarette. She's seated on the stone wall bordering the path, three metres away from the 'No Smoking' sign. She meets the girl's eye, then glances away quickly. "One of them."

The girl doesn't seem pleased with that answer. Still, she pauses for a moment, then offers her hand with a slight sigh. "I think we got off on the wrong foot, somehow. I'm Yao's sister, Mei."

Yao is almost fifty. Natalia remains sceptical of whether she is, indeed, his sister; she doesn't look much older than twenty, if that. She doesn't shake. Instead, she snubs the end of the cigarette out on the wall.

"Vermeulen's on duty today. She'll tell you what you want to know."

Mei retracts her hand. "Right... Thanks." She seems to acknowledge the information, though she doesn't sound particularly grateful. She faces the entrance again and heads onwards.

Natalia lights up another cigarette and wonders to herself what exactly it is that Vermeulen will be saying.

–

Ivan and Katya both hug her so tightly, it's a wonder she wasn't crushed between them.

"We'll come back to visit soon." Katya strokes Natalia's hair, and the heady scent of her perfume lingers even when she's stepped away.

Natalia lets her go. It's Ivan's sleeve that she keeps a hold of.

"How soon?" She asks. She doesn't intend to, the words just seem to roll from her tongue without prior thought.

Ivan casts her a smile. "_Soon._"

She doesn't release him until the last moment, when Katya speaks up again, her suitcase in hand. "We have to check in now, dear."

There are tears in her big sister's eyes, but that's typical of Katya. Natalia thinks nothing of it.

–

Natalia lives alone. Her apartment has one bedroom. Ivan and Katya had been renting a place for their three-month visit.

London isn't unlike Moscow; big and bustling but somehow so _empty _as well.

"Everything alright?" Dr. Kirkland asks her, rather off-hand, when he comes to check on her later that day. Before she can answer, he clarifies, "With your brother and sister, I mean. Did they head off okay?"

She can't imagine why he cares (it's probably just small talk), but she nods in response – just the once. It would be a bad idea to tell her supervisor that it's none of his business, after all.

–

It's the day Mr. Wang is due to be let out. The doctor is dealing with it; Natalia is behind the desk with a coffee, filing away what she hopes will be the last of his paperwork. For a man with such a bad back, Mr. Wang's arms and legs were surprisingly mobile. It was remarkable he hadn't managed to right-hook her when she'd been administering the painkillers through injection.

"Am I allowed in, today?"

Mei, suddenly, is at the desk, a curt smile on her face.

Natalia snorts at her joking tone, and waves her hand dismissively. "Under the doctor's discretion."

Ten minutes later and the old man is hobbling towards the elevator with a walking stick in one hand, and Mei's arm in the other.

–

London is a big, bustling city.

There are eight million people in it. But none of them are Ivan or Katya.

–

"Miss Natalia...?"

Whatever it is that Laurinaitis wants from her during her smoke time, it had better be important. Expectant, she stares at him, from her perch on the wall.

He tenses his shoulders and shifts from foot to foot. "Would you, um... Like to get a coffee this afternoon, maybe?"

Natalia wonders what people respond with when typically faced with that request. 'Sure', or 'I'm sorry, perhaps another time'?

She taps the ash from her cigarette. It's pointless to beat around the bush. "No."

–

"Oh, it's you."

The voice is unexpected, and so is the tone. It's bright, almost _pleasantly _surprised.

When Natalia glances sidelong and downwards a little, it's Mei's face that she sees. She sees several patients and their families day in, day out, so she's almost forgotten about Mr. Wang's supposed 'younger sister' by now. Still, Natalia's in jeans and heels with her hair and make-up done properly, now she has a day off; this time she doesn't feel so worn-looking next to her; she wasn't used to being around women that _didn't _look like that at work, be they staff or otherwise.

Natalia lowers her hand away from the thin black package and looks away again. Mei does the same.

"Yao really likes this cologne, I was going to buy it as a 'get well soon' present." She chuckles, sounding awkward.

Natalia says nothing, yet doesn't move away. Mei picks the box off the shelf.

"He'll probably yell at me for buying something expensive." She goes on to say, lifting her shoulders in a shrug.

(Mr. Wang let slip whilst still on the ward that he is the manager of a well-off corporation over in China, which is why Natalia, though she's telling herself she couldn't care less, finds this statement odd).

"Here." Mei offers her the box. Cautiously, she asks, "Is it for your Dad?"

Natalia has to admit, now she thinks about it, that particular scent does seem like an 'old geezer' type one. She keeps her hands by her sides, frowning. She'd rather not associate her brother with Mr. Wang, and so, deciding not to tell Mei that it was a gift for Ivan, she lies, "I made a mistake. It's not the one I'm looking for."

"_Oh._" Mei nods a bit, and retracts the box. "Well, um..." She looks up and down the shelf.

"I can find it." Natalia says, posture straightened; she's willing the girl to just take the box and go pay already. She's never bumped into a patient's relative in public like this before, and she'd rather the experience came to an end.

"Sure... Good luck with that." Bristled, Mei mutters and walks past her.

Natalia ends up purchasing a cologne far more expensive than her initial choice. She regrets it when she later starts to chalk up the cost of a flight to Moscow.

–

The flight is delayed by an hour.

Then cancelled.

Natalia would like to know who exactly is responsible for this, because she's very much sure she will find them and cause them grievous bodily harm – until the announcement is made.

Reports of a bomb detonated in Moscow have been passed on to the airline staff.

She's one in a crowd of a hundred, waiting at the gate for that flight. Some are stunned, some are angered, but none of them are going anywhere.

–

_They'll be safe. It won't have affected them. They'll be safe._

Natalia sits in the rain, around the corner from Heathrow's taxi rank, on a curb. Her phone is to her ear. She's soaked to the bone, but she won't move until Ivan picks up.

_They'll be safe. They have to be._

The answerphone is all she gets.

–

She doesn't confide in Dr. Kirkland. All she tells him is that her trip to Moscow is off. He accepts her brave face with no qualms.

"It's going to be a pain to rearrange the roster again." He mumbles, tapping his lip with the tip of his pen. "Suppose it might be better for you to take the whole two weeks off. Book a holiday somewhere warm instead."

Dr. Singh pipes up from the next desk along, "I hear Grenada's nice this time of year."

Natalia exits the office, saying nothing more.

–

She daren't watch the news. She daren't turn the TV, or the radio, on at all.

In the streets, she casts her eyes away from the newspaper stands she passes.

She avoids it until the third day.

She doesn't call Moscow. She doesn't try Ivan or Katya's phones. She calls the airline and explains the situation.

They open up the flight path again at the end of the week. It's a six in the morning flight, but she accepts it.

She doesn't have a choice.

–

There are less than ten passengers on a jet that can carry 150 at least.

Even the flight crew seem on edge. They let Natalia have a seat in first class, but leave her alone until halfway through the flight, when she's almost drifted off into sleep, somehow blocking out the dull, yet grating whirr of the plane's engine.

"Hey, lady." A voice gets through to her. She almost glowers when she glances up at its owner – the bespectacled blond man occupying the seat in front of hers. He had obviously taken his seatbelt off and was kneeling in his seat, peering over the back of it like a puppy looking over the bottom of a windowsill. "Oh, hey, you're awake! You don't look so hot. You've been lolling your head and muttering for the past five minutes."

A member of the cabin crew pops up barely a moment later, a large cup of iced water and a sick bag in hand. Natalia convinces the woman quickly that she's perfectly fine, but is made to accept both things nonetheless.

The man in the seat in front looks pleased with his good deed. "Hey, I know it's a scary flight and all, but just give me a shout if you need anything else, yeah?"

Natalia makes a point to stay silent for the rest of the journey, wishing she could glare literal holes into the back of his seat.

–

Moscow is a big, bustling city. People pass her by, like nothing at all had happened the week before. They've things to do, places to be, their own lives to lead.

Nothing is left of the entire street, let alone the apartment block. Nothing but rubble.

There's police tape and flowers as far as Natalia will let her eyes look.

_Maybe_ there's still hope. Just _maybe_.

The man behind the tape won't give her the answers she's looking for. "You'll have to ask the morgue."

_Maybe _there's hope. But Natalia doesn't think she believes in miracles.

–

"Jesus Christ, Johnson, you poor son of a bitch."

Natalia briefly recognises the man walking past her. His head is hung, and he's shaking it as he walks with his hands in his pockets. The glasses are almost slipping off the end of his nose. It's definitely the guy from the plane.

He doesn't notice her. She watches him lean against a nearby wall, upon emerging from the morgue. He appears exhausted. She's seen this happen to people back in her hospital in London.

She wants to go forwards. But perhaps its because she's too afraid of the truth that she doesn't.

She approaches him with a plastic cup of cooler water in her hand. It's hardly the expensive iced mineral water from first class, but he needs it. By this time, he's squatting down, shoulder pressed into the wall.

"Drink." She tells him.

He plucks the water out of her hands and gulps it down, not acknowledging her. Once the cup's empty, he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand and takes a heavy breath.

"Hey, aren't you that...?" His realisation, upon examining her face, takes a good few moments.

"I'm a nurse." She states, plainly. "Don't stay there, you're blocking the hall."

Still using the wall as support, he wobbles back to his feet. "You're a nurse?" He sounds surprised. She doesn't think much of it – she gets that response a lot. "Where's your uniform?"

"I don't work here." She crinkles her nose, turning away.

"Whoa, wait!" He says, reaching out his hand to stop her from leaving.

Natalia stares at him, waiting for him to go on.

He grins at her, wide and bright, patting her on the shoulder. "Thanks."

She's inwardly appreciative. She can't remember the last time someone had been so genuine when thanking her.

–

The man goes to get another drink of water and then sits with her in a nearby waiting area. She's still delaying the inevitable, and the nerves, the _fear,_ makes her toy idly with the hem of her skirt.

When he takes his seat, he does so with one leg crossed over the knee of the other, and both arms stretched across the backs of the two seats either side of his. He seems much better after the drinks. "So, what're you doing in this hospital, if you don't work here?"

Natalia says nothing. She only glances in the direction of the morgue. It takes him a little while, but he catches the drift.

"_Oh. _Geeze. I'm sorry."

'I don't want your pity', she wants to say. The words don't come. Somehow she hears Katya in the back of her mind tell her not to be so rude.

The man clicks his tongue, apparently looking for a different subject to talk about. "So uh, you got a name? I'm Alfred. I was in London for an investigation." He bangs on his chest with his fist, smile beaming, and adds proudly, "I'm a cop. Member of the NYPD, actually."

Natalia wishes she could tell him she doesn't care. Once again, she finds herself completely silent.

"See, there was a guy from our team called Johnson out here. They sent me over to look for his body, and, well..."

Alfred seems to realise only a moment later that he's put his foot in his mouth again. He winces when Natalia shoots him a cold stare.

"Ah, _geeze..._ Look, uh, you didn't look so well on the plane and, well..." He rubs at the back of his neck. "Here." He pulls a notepad out of his breast pocket and scribbles on the first page. He tears it out, and hands it across to her. "I mean, I know you're acting pretty quiet and all, but like, if you need someone to talk to, this is my cell. I'll be in Moscow 'til Tuesday."

He departs soon after. A busy man, Natalia expects. She doesn't discard his number, but has no desire to call it, either.

She's left alone again after that, with only the morgue ahead of her.

–

The doctor there turns her away.

"We've no one identified as either of those names." He gives her a hard look.

She bites the inside of her lip. "Where else should I go?"

"The police." He shrugs. "If they haven't come forwards as survivors, then there's probably nothing left to identify."

–

London isn't all that different from Moscow.

Neither will ever have enough vodka to numb the pain.

–

Natalia sits at the road side again, a long way from the taxi rank.

If she catches a taxi home, she'll have to go about her ordinary life again. She'll have to go to work and act like everything is fine.

She'll have to pretend she hasn't lost her brother and sister. She'll have to pretend she hasn't lost the last of her family.

Like before, the rain is pouring. It always does. She doesn't care that her and her suitcase are getting drenched by the cold water.

She's lost the last things she cared about.

It's an ache in the depths of her heart that she isn't used to. It feels like she's been struck in the ribs with a knife, and everything's poured out of her and left her just _empty_.

She doesn't even care when a black 4 by 4 pulls up next to her. _They probably want me out of the way._ She wishes she could work up the energy, but she simply _can't_.

The car's engine dies off. The door cracks open. Natalia keeps her head down, but she can hear the wet footsteps approaching her.

The person stands still, the rain pitter-pattering down on their umbrella.

"Leave me be." Natalia mumbles, when they've failed to say anything themselves.

"You'll catch a cold."

Against the grim, grey surroundings, Mei sticks out like a sore thumb, and its not just down to the pink umbrella.

"Come with me." She bends down and offers her hand, before Natalia can lower her head again.

"_Leave me be._" She repeats in a hiss.

"No." Mei shakes her head. "You're in trouble, right? I want to help."

"Why are you here?" Anger begins to boil in that empty space in Natalia's chest. She wants to ask, specifically, why she has encountered Mei yet again. But she accepts her words as they are – they're more specific.

The brunette recoils a little. "I brought Yao to the airport. He's catching a flight back to Shanghai." She frowns, her free hand on her hip. "Is that good enough information for you?"

"You're a stranger." Natalia narrows her eyes.

And to that, Mei smiles, tapping the side of her nose. "Not if we keep meeting like this, I won't be."

–

Mei doesn't seem to care that her car's upholstery is getting soaked. She doesn't even seem to care that Natalia is utterly silent. All she cares about is that they're out of the rain.

"Yao's back's a lot better, by the way." She says, somewhat out of the blue, probably just to try to make conversation. "He was only here on business so I think he's glad to be heading back to Shanghai now." She pauses for a moment. "Did you come back from somewhere?"

"Moscow." Natalia states, straightforward, hoping she will get enough information from that to not ask her anything else.

Mei's hands tighten around the wheel. "...You poor thing." She says, as the realisation sets in. "I'm so sorry."

Pity. That's all anyone will ever give her – _pity._ Natalia turns towards the window next to her and frowns. They can't bring her family back, so what's the use in telling them anything?

"I... Um..." Like Alfred had done back in Moscow, Mei starts to look for a topic change. "What's your address, by the way? I can't take you home if I don't know it." She laughs a little, at the end.

Natalia doesn't answer. She'd much rather Mei just dumped her back on the side of the road.

"W-Well, let's go to my place then." Mei continues. "As long as we're out of this rain it doesn't matter, huh?"

The rain doesn't let up, even when they've reached their destination.

–

Mei offers Natalia use of her shower, and a change of clothes. She rejects the latter, there are clothes in her suitcase and, quite honestly, Mei's taste in textiles is not one she shares whatsoever.

Everything that isn't cream or chrome is _pink,_ or a shade of. Even the towels in her bathroom are a faded peach.

Natalia notices a bottle of chestnut hair dye on the bathroom windowsill, and is somewhat glad to see it – it means that Mei at least doesn't plan to colour her hair pink, too.

–

Dried and dressed, suitcase in hand, Natalia makes for the front door, whilst Mei busies herself in the kitchen, pots and pans clanking about.

She slips back out into the cold, unnoticed.

–

"Did you end up going anywhere nice, then?" Dr. Kirkland asks, leaning on the desk.

It's Natalia's first day back at work. She's preparing to make a call when he asks the question.

She sighs through her nose, recalling what she had told Alfred and Mei. Kirkland might well act the same way.

"Grenada was wonderful." She replies, matter-of-factly.

"Oh. Lovely. I'll pass that on to Dhruv."

He doesn't move from the spot, even when she's put her hand on the phone's receiver. She glances up at him, silently asking what he wants.

Kirkland leans forwards a little more, and lowers his voice. "Natalia, are you sure you're alright? You've been acting awfully strange ever since the..."

She gets up and leaves, before he can finish his sentence.

–

It's the first time she's cried at all, since she had stood at the gate and heard about the attack that had cancelled her flight.

It's half an hour, maybe, before she returns to the ward. She's supposed to have started checking up on patients by now.

"It's dreadful, I know, but I don't know what there is we can do." Kirkland is mumbling, an almost-scowl across his heavy brow.

"Give her the rest of the month off. Two months, even." Vermeulen says, alerting Natalia to the fact that they're talking about her. "She probably just needs time."

_Time_. Time isn't something Natalia needs whatsoever. She needs her brother and sister – but she can't have them. She wills away the urge to cry again.

Kirkland sees her approaching and tenses a bit. "Ah..." He slips his hands into his pockets. "There you are. Listen, I was just thinking..." He begins, quickly.

"Arthur's going to give you as much time as you need off." Vermeulen says, with an understanding smile.

Natalia nods and turns to leave again, disregarding Kirkland choking on the explanation of 'that's not what I said' he's trying to get out.

–

"Why did you run off?"

It's Mei, again. Natalia tries to ignore her as she stands in the entrance to the hospital. Apparently, she was waiting for her.

"I know things are hard right now!" She calls out, her footsteps pursuing Natalia. "But everything'll be okay!"

Natalia clenches her fists, the ire flaming up inside her chest all of a sudden. She stops dead in her stride, whipping around to face the brunette. "What the hell do you know!?" She yells.

Mei flinches, but comes face-to-face with her. "A lot." She starts to speak in a serious tone of voice; it seems unfitting, for her. She sighs, then. "I know to you I'm probably an annoying sister of a former patient who keeps cropping up. But... Honestly, I know what you've been through, at least."

Inhaling, Natalia makes to turn away and stride onwards. "You don't. You _can't._ Ever."

"My entire family was wiped out by thugs. Yao and I are the only ones left." She keeps a straight face, as she speaks. "I know it's not worth equating the two right now, but I can help you."

"I don't want your help. Or your pity. I want nothing from you."

–

Natalia is sure Mei hasn't followed her, this time.

She doesn't go home, either. She lingers on a bench in a nearby park, wondering exactly how she's going to spend the rest of her life.

It seems sad, that she was only living for her brother and sister. She thinks of that time again – the moment she had told them she had qualified as a nurse.

All she had done was to make them happy... Was that it?

"I'm not stalking you, I swear." Mei puts her hands up defensively upon her arrival.

Natalia kicks her feet against the pebbledash and grumbles, "Sure you're not."

"No, really! The first few times were a coincidence. I only showed up at the hospital today 'cause..." She pauses, clenching her hands together. Then, she seats herself down on the bench next to Natalia. "Because I wanted to know why you ran off the other day." There's a visible pout on her face, even though she's staring at her feet. "I made soup, and all..."

Turning her head so she's looking at _anything_ but Mei, Natalia responds frankly, "I wanted to be alone."

"Yeah, I understand." Mei says, after a short pause. "Mm, you can't be alone forever, though."

There's nothing Natalia can say to that. What she's hearing, it's so _typical..._ She doesn't want to know. She wants to get up and leave and she does – or at least, she tries to.

A warm hand reaches out and grabs hers and tells her, "Wait!"

She freezes.

Mei stands, not letting go of her hand. "It must all sound really dumb to you. I'm probably being so persistent I'm annoying, but... I want to help you. That's all." She starts to sound defeated. "And... Unless... Unless there's anyone else that can help you, I don't want to let you go."

–

Natalia can't fathom why she's letting this strange, and – indeed - persistent girl walk her home.

But somehow, that afternoon, London doesn't feel as big as usual.

–

She goes back to work the next day. She'd be bored out of her mind if she didn't.

It's hard not to enjoy the look on Kirkland's face when he realises he has to rearrange an entire month's roster.

Yet it's also hard to keep the tears in, still, when she comes home to an empty apartment.

And each night, it only gets harder.

–

"I feel so stupid." Mei tells her, the next time they meet.

She told Natalia already they didn't have to talk about anything. She just wanted to hang out on her day off, that was all.

"Why?" Natalia frowns, eyeing Mei's phone as she holds it in front of her.

"I um... I have you logged in my phone as 'Nurse Arlovskaya'." She shrinks a bit. "I never asked for your first name."

A long, drawn out sigh leaves Natalia's nose. She's relieved – for a moment there, she thought Mei wanted to take her picture with her phone. "Natalia."

–

"I-I'm really glad to see you back at work, Miss Natalia."

She half wishes she had it in her to tell Laurinaitis she's not glad to see him. Instead, she simply sighs. "Thanks."

Two hours later, and she wanders past Dr. Singh, as he scratches his head whilst muttering something about Laurinaitis being 'overly ecstatic' to an intern.

–

The nicest dress Natalia owns hasn't been worn in two years.

It's navy blue, form-fitting with laced sleeves. Katya used to complain about how short it was, but the reason it had been kept in the wardrobe for so long was down to the fact she hadn't had a night out in all that time.

She's offered to drive, tonight. No doubt Mei's car is nicer than hers but she doesn't want to feel as if she's relying on her for everything. She'd rather not feel useless like that.

Hair and make-up done perfectly, as usual, Mei climbs into the passenger seat. For once, she's not wearing _pink._ Her dress is bright red with a scoop-neck. And it's longer than Natalia's, but she thinks that might be because Mei is shorter than she is.

Either way, she's sure that her skirt length is the reason Mei has cast her gaze down to the top of her legs, before quickly looking away again.

–

"Naaataliaaa! Nataliaaaaaaa! Did you seee thaaaat!?"

Mei hasn't drunk nearly enough to be _drunk_, but she's had enough to be convinced that she drank a guy under the table regardless. In reality, Natalia had motioned at him to fake it when Mei wasn't looking.

"Yes, yes, I saw it." Natalia says, for what feels like the hundredth time.

It's cool and dark out. It's barely nine but she's ready to call it a night. Mei, not so much. The girl is acting elated, bouncing on the balls of her feet every time she has to stand still and giggling all the while.

She follows the brunette, until they wind up in a children's playground, somewhere off the tracks. Natalia sighs, as Mei rushes for the swings and takes a seat.

"This isn't the way back to the car." She calls out.

"Yessssssss iiiit isssssssss_sssssssssss_!"

Almost rolling her eyes into the back of her head, she steps across the playground, her arms folded across her chest. "I'm not helping you if you fall off."

Already swinging to and fro, the frame creaking with her, Mei slows down. "Whaaaat? But you're a nurse! You've gotta help me!" She fakes a scowl. "It's against the law not to, right?"

Natalia snorts. "Not if I pretend I didn't see you."

When Mei's feet touch the ground, she sighs, lifting her arms in a stretch. "I'm really happy, you know? I don't really have many friends that wanna do things like this."

"...Play on children's apparatus?" Natalia asks, an eyebrow raised.

"Mmm, no, silly. Hang out at night. Go to a bar and drink." She kicks her legs. "I mean, it's not something Yao likes me to do either, but." She shrugs. "He's over in Shanghai and here _I_ am."

Natalia pauses, then draws in a breath. "My sister hated me doing it, too."

Mei blinks, then shakes her head a bit. "She cares about you, that's why."

'Cares'. Natalia's heart sinks, the familiar feeling of emptiness flooding in again. Regardless, she nods. "I know."

After hopping off the swing, Mei tumbles down onto the grass, arms outstretched. "Phewf! It sure is dark out. Must be getting late, huh?" She lifts her head. "Hey, come sit with me."

Though Natalia does so, she says, "When you say 'it's getting late', you're supposed to say 'it's time to head home'."

"Yeah? And?" Mei puffs out her cheeks a bit, but apparently can't hold the look for longer than three seconds before starting to laugh again. "Oh gosh, don't be so serious! We're having fun, remember?"

Natalia says nothing. Mei sits up and leans forwards, looking into her face.

"Natalia? Were you always quiet?"

She nods. Silence follows. "Why?"

"I'm just wondering. It's not a problem. Actually, I don't get to be around a lot of quiet people, if I'm honest." A small smile crosses Mei's face. "It's nice. Kinda makes me feel at ease."

'At ease' is definitely not something Natalia thought she'd ever make anyone feel. It's odd, trying to register it. Odd, but not unpleasant.

What's even more odd is how close Mei is to her face right now. The floral notes of her perfume fill her nostrils. Natalia almost looks away, _almost._

Mei's fingers on her cheek stop her.

Her lips are soft and tender, and are slow to move. So much so, it takes Natalia a moment to realise what exactly is happening. It's not how she's kissed any guys before, it's so much less _rough_, more of a gentle brushing against one another than a zealous form of contact.

"I-I'm sorry." Mei shuffles back and covers her face, apparently because Natalia hasn't really responded to her actions. "I just thought..."

"It's fine."

One after another, Mei spreads the fingers covering her eyes, peering back out at her. "R-Really?" She lowers her hands. "So I can...?"

Another nod.

"Don't ask. I said it's fine."

–

Mei waits, though. She waits until they've driven back to her place.

Then she leans over the gear stick for a quick peck.

Natalia grabs a fist full of her dress's neckline. And doesn't let go.

–

She's sure some part of this is supposed to feel wrong.

But it doesn't. None of it does.

Mei's arms around her shoulders don't. The feeling of pressing her against the closed door doesn't. The little noise she makes when she has to let go to fumble with her key and lock up _certainly_ doesn't. Mei is a pretty girl, but she looks much better flustered, her lips apart and her make-up slightly smeared.

There's a knot in the pit of Natalia's stomach. It's the kind of feeling she's gotten before, when heading home with someone after a night out drinking. It's the only knot in her stomach that doesn't make her recoil, but rather, drives her.

And Mei coils around her again, her warm body pressing into her own.

And everything after becomes a blur.

–

"I think I've been selfish." Mei muses, staring at the ceiling with her head on Natalia's shoulder. "I kinda forced myself into your life. Maybe I wanted your company, more than you wanted mine."

_Maybe_, Natalia thinks. But she decides that she's glad things with Mei happened as they did, after all.

–

London isn't really all that much like Moscow.

Natalia's sure, somehow, that London's lights shine a little brighter.


End file.
